Läser just nu Bill Johnsons nya bok ”Center of the universe – a look at the lighter side of life”. Den innehåller små artiklar han skrev under sin tid som pastor i Weaverville till församlingens infotidning. Hans mål med artiklarna var att undervisa och väcka tankar, men också att församlingen skulle lära känna honom bättre. Här kommer kapitel 33, – ”Discoveries in prayer”:
“I had hoped that by giving myself to more prayer, it would become a time of great spiritual discovery. It has been, but in a much different way than I had expected. I thought that I would discover a source of real power through prayer. Instead I found weakness, – mine. It seemed that with more prayer I would rise to a place of powerful ministry. Instead, I am filled with an awareness of inability to handle power. My eyes have turned from my grand future to a grace-filled present. I’m not disappointed, just surprised.
I figured that with more prayer I would become pure and holy. It seems that instead, I have become aware of my impurity. When I thought that my heart would jump at the chance to be holy, I found it to be coarse and vain. I do sense a change happening in me, but I realise now that it’s not as much from my heart as it is from His. I’m not disappointed, just surprised.
More prayer appeared to be the key to the miraculous. Certainly if I pray more there will be more miracles happening through my life. It’s true that I see more miracles. But so far it’s not that they have increased as much as I see my world differently. I’m not disappointed, just surprised.
With more prayer, I would discover the “riches of Christ”, right? My first discovery was my spiritual poverty. As for His riches, they fill my heart only as I see my need. I’m not disappointed, just surprised.
If there was one thing that I knew for sure, it was that more prayer bought more answers. My shock came when I realised that I don’t have more as much as I have different answers. I’m not disappointed, just surprised.
I invite you to a life of more prayer. But you need to know, it’s probably not what you think. Is it the way to fulfilled dreams and desires? Yes and no. I didn’t get what I wanted. But what I’ve got is what I want.”
Jag tror liksom Bill att ett liv i bön förändrar och förvandlar. Gemenskap med Gud är nyckeln till livet vi längtar efter. Samtidigt vet vi inte alltid vad vårt hjärtas innersta längtan och behov verkligen är.
Gud låt oss aldrig sluta hungra efter djupare gemenskap med Dig!
Dra oss närmre och låt Din vilja ske i våra liv.